Review: Hellraiser: Bloodline

5/10

Starring: Bruce Ramsay, Valentina Vargas, Doug Bradley. Directed by Alan Smithee (Kevin Yagher.)


Here we have the biggest, most muddled mess of the Hellraiser series. The first two films are two of the greatest horror films in existence, and the third was a very good continuation of the mythology. But Bloodline is an anomaly, given that it is written by the same man that wrote 2 and 3 (Peter Atkins). This is a very ambitious film, and has many good ideas, but none of them play out exactly as they should. Essentially, Bloodline is a perfect example of how a perfectly good script (and it is, the original script for this movie is remarkable) can be utterly ruined by the studio.

The story spans three generations. First and most exciting, we get to see the complete origin of the nefarious box, The Lament Configuration. Turns out it was done out of ignorance by toymaker Philip LeMerchand. He was commissioned to make the box for a wealthy baron who uses it as a gateway to Hell, from which he pulls the demoness Angelique. LeMerchand, horrified at what he has created, tries to design an idea for a puzzle that will destroy demons, to mirror his design that summons them.

Cut to the present, where architect Jack Merchant is being plagued by dreams (of Angelique, who survived the centuries) as he works on his latest design, which has an ever-eerie resemblance to the box. Angelique knows that he is a descendant of LeMerchand and goes to America to find him. Carnage ensues, leading to the summoning of Pinhead, who graces a little more screen time than is usual for these films.

Our wrap-around segment, where we see our narrator, is in the 22nd century on the space station Minos. Yes, that's right. Pinhead in space. See Jason X, Leprechaun 4 and Critters 4 for info on how well that usually works. Anyway, here LeMerchand's last descendant has finally figured out the Elysium Configuration, the box that will destroy the gateway to Hell and uses it to destroy Pinhead (who's never really been the all-out villain in the series before, he's more of a shadow character, so this feels a little contrived).

Like I said, a lot of good ideas. But the end result is a mess. The film, just from the synopsis should (and deserves to be) 2 hours long. The film itself is 81 minutes. Yeah. There's a story on that though. See, the first cut of the film was indeed over 2 hours. Unfortunately, the studio decided that's no length for a horror movie, so they cut out enough footage to be considered another feature film. Also, Angelique was dubbed over with an American actress to remove her French accent. Wonderful thought process in the makings of this one. What we're left with is a mess of a movie. It's unfortunate, it really is, because there was a lot of potential here, and a lot of charisma in the early days of its making. Clive Barker, upon seeing the final product sued (and failed) to have his name removed, and Kevin Yagher (outstanding special effects guy who did the make-up for Freddy Krueger and designed the Chucky doll, as well as the Crypt Keeper) got his first shot of directing with this film, and became so ashamed he removed his name from it. Doug Bradley has more screen time, which may be out of character, but as he was one of the few things that really made this worth watching, I don't mind it.

So, while it's not all the movie's fault, what we got is what we got. And what we got ain't great. This was the last Hellraiser film to go to theaters and one can't really wonder why. It was all straight-to-DVD from here, and all those sequels, in my humble opinion, actually surpassed this. Still, Doug Bradley always brings a firm sophistication to Pinhead.